Women is an innovative new service that's simply women. Find out how below.
Like most tech startups, you might be asking yourself: what are women? And how can we use their mysterious powers in the workplace? Wonder no more.
In the 20th century, they were the first computers, and the first programmers. Their utility has been forgotten by the tech industry for decades, but thanks to our groundbreaking research, Women is ready to bring women back at the time we need them most.
Each woman is a fully independent agent capable of parallelizable task management. Can't get a job done with one? Just deploy more! Deploy as many women as you want, and any problem is solvable.
Years of social conditioning and testing ensures that women do 100% of their work at 77% the cost of their competitors.
Our agents have been trained in accurate simulations of 20 to 30 years' worth of human-readable data. Each woman has sophisticated natural language processing ability, comparable to any member of your staff! Can't believe it's an AI? It isn't. It's better. It's Women.
At first, I asked 'what can women do?' ... after working with them, I ask 'what CAN'T women do?' and I've yet to find out.
--Spike Speakeasy, Founder, Spiky Solutions
When we started, our company had 99 problems. And then it hit us. We needed Women.
--Howard Silvers, Talent Coordinator, GoodLabs
After recent PR problems, we needed Women FAST. Now our stock is on the up again and Verizon told HuffPost to stop hating us.
--Gabriel Gabriels, PR Lead, Gabsoft
Didn't you get the memo? Women are IN.
--Sundar Pichai, CEO, Google
I would recommend Women without hesitation to all the washed-out entrepreneurs from my old fraternity.
--Kayden Bigson, CEO, Commatch
Alan Whitman, Founder
Alan has been interested in women since the age of 16, but found that very few businesses were taking advantage of them. That's when he knew he had to start Women.
Sean Baldglass, CTO
Sean swears by the quote "Behind every Ada Lovelace, there's a Charles Babbage to challenge her." Sean is definitely Women's Mr.Babbage.
Sasha Hairglass, VP Sales
Sasha is committed to an excellent customer experience. "With Women, you're not just a client: you're one of the guys!"